Shaquille O’Neal delivers a hilarious induction speech

NBA News – Shaquille O’Neal was one of the most dominant big men in NBA history by any measure, statistical or eye test. He could push nearly anyone around in the paint, and those he couldn’t physically overpower, he could step around. He was an all-time dominant post presence, and a deserving three-consecutive Finals MVP with the Los Angeles Lakers.

He was also both hilarious and petty, and on Friday, as he gave his Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame enshrinement speech, both qualities shined through.

O’Neal famously feuded with teammate Kobe Bryant in Los Angeles, despite winning three consecutive championships for the Lakers. Thanking all of his teammates with the Lakers, O’Neal saved Bryant for last.

“Last but not least, the great Kobe Bryant,” O’Neal said. “A guy that would push me. Kobe Bryant, a guy who would push me and help me win three titles, but who also helped me get pushed off the team and traded to Miami.”

Of course, there’s reason to believe that O’Neal was as at fault in his departure as Bryant, but that hardly mattered on Friday. On Friday, O’Neal’s presence dominated the stage as thoroughly as he dominated the paint.

“After Miami, I played in Phoenix,” O’Neal said. “I’d like to thank Steve Kerr. He was the first general manager to call me and say I was being traded. All the other times, I found out from loud-ass Stephen A. Smith on ESPN.”

This doesn’t seem particularly likely, but it makes for a good story, and a good story was all O’Neal needed to keep his speech humming along.

Good stories, like the one he told that might actually cost him real sponsorship dollars. Back in 2012, shortly after he retired, O’Neal did a commercial for Buick in which he sat in a LaCrosse and proclaimed that the company had made a hybrid even he could fit in.

He couldn’t fit, of course.

“I learned to work hard, but not take myself too seriously,” O’Neal said. “Like sitting in a Buick I knew I couldn’t fit in. Hey, they paid me $3 million. What did you want me to say, no? It was like, $3 million? I was like, I fit. I fit.”

By this point, O’Neal’s speech had left a lengthy list of names in its wake, including his first coaches, his brothers and sisters, Bryant, every general manager besides Steve Kerr, Stephen A. Smith, Phil Jackson (with whom O’Neal said he would be opening a “medicinal sage dispensary”), Nick Anderson (who Shaq roasted for missing crucial free throws in the Finals), and Buick. Who was left?

The fans.

“I’d like to thank the fans — the mothers and daughters, fathers and sons,” O’Neal said. “Every time you rooted us on, just know I heard you. Especially when I missed FTs. ‘Shaq, bend your knees. Shaq, concentrate. Shaq, play defense.’ Shut up.”

(He went on to thank them, of course.)

Oh, and David Stern.

“(Adam Silver and David Stern) have taken the NBA to heights none of us could have ever imagined, and they did it with integrity,” O’Neal said. “I’m proud of my relationship with them.”

You knew the twist was coming. And it did.

“And David,” he said, “Even though you suspended me ten times, to the amount of,” O’Neal paused, and pretended to calculate, “$4.2 million, I still love you, David. But if you want to write the check, I’ll take it. Tax free, please.”

Not all of O’Neal’s speech was petty. The moments in which he called Bill Russell the greatest big man ever, and in which he anointed Julius Irving his “idol” were genuine and heart-felt, and his pride and love for his children was evident, even as he promised some of them they would be going to law school (whether or not they wanted to).

But large swaths of his speech were dotted with little jabs, and those will be the moments that people in attendance will remember — the roasts, the passive-aggressive honesty, and the parts of his speech that forced NBA TV’s censors to silence long portions of it (for the record, the edited portions were his nickname back in high school).

And all the while, O’Neal — who was well aware of what he was doing — grinned and chuckled, inviting viewers to enjoy those little jabs as much as he did.

Even his closing comment had a hint of petty, calling out a hypothetical father talking to his hypothetical son.

“At the age of 10,” O’Neal said, “my father said, ‘Son if you listen to me,’ he told me this day would happen. Now, when fathers are quizzing their sons on the great big men of the game, hopefully Shaquille O’Neal will be in the answer.”

O’Neal will certainly be in the answer. If he finds out otherwise, you can bet he’ll come after you.

Category: Basketball